Instances
by foamskyandsea
Summary: instances noun : a case or occurrence of anything... Moments in the life of Bella Swan.


_He was holding her hand again._

He was holding her hand again and Bella had no idea what to do. Sometimes she would sit and think and marvel at how easy it was for him to just feel. She was so jealous of his ability to just allow his emotions to take out his actions. She knew what this meant to him. Holding her hand was more than just a friendly gesture to Jake, it had depth and meaning. She was unsure what it meant to her. She knew that it lacked the significance he viewed it with yet she couldn't help but put some profundity into the image of their hands together, fingers intertwined. She didn't know what this meant but she wasn't going to let go. Bella squeezed Jake's hand before resting her head on his shoulder.

**Family **(noun): a group of people united by certain convictions or a common affiliation

Family wasn't just blood relations. Family is who takes care of you when you need it. They're the people who you know you can trust no matter what happens. You rely on them and they rely on you in turn. There's give and take but at the end of the day you all care for each other. It doesn't matter how long you've known each other or what you've been through together. What matters is the trust and love felt by all members of the family. Bella knew her family was certainly unconventional but she knew beyond a doubt that they were truly her family. _Charlie, Jake, Billy, Quil, Embry, Emily, and Angela._ She even knew that she considered most of the pack as family, they were like funny older brothers or interesting cousins who you weren't necessarily close with but you felt a relaxed happiness around them. They accepted her despite her strange ways and broken self. She felt no need to pretend around her family, they deserved the truth for all they had done for her.

_Bella was okay._

It wasn't an epic moment of profound meaning. It was just the quiet realization as she sat on the beach curled up against Jake, surrounded by the pack and Charlie and Billy and others, that she was okay. That she wasn't perfect and she might never be whole but she was herself and that was just fine with her. It was enough to know that one day soon she could stop trying so hard to be okay, she could just relax and be herself and that person would be someone who was not going to cry in the shower or wake up screaming in the night. She was Bella Swan and she was okay.

_Bella Swan was flying. _

She was flying, soaring through the skies with no boundaries. **Freedom. **This was true freedom. There was nothing and no one that could stop her as she flew through the air with no destination and no plans. She was going with the flow and it had never felt better. She didn't mind that her future was mapped out and written down and colored coded according to what should happen, what might happen and what could **not **happen. She was just letting everything happen. She was soaring thousands of feet above the surface and she hadn't even factored fear into the equation. Fear was irrelevant. Bella Swan was flying and there was nothing that could stop her.

_She was in Jacob Black's bed._

Bella was in Jacob Black's bed and she had no idea how she had gotten there. She had just woken up and was very unsure of her surroundings. She took in the warmth of his body wrapped around her own. His room was messy and compact yet it radiated and warmth and smell that could only ever be associated with Jake. Bella smiled. He was snoring softly in her ear but she didn't mind. She strained her ears to hear something, anything that might clue her in as to what she was doing sleeping in his bed. She wondered if Charlie knew where she was. Bella hoped he wasn't worrying. She knew he wouldn't be upset that she had spent the night at Jake and Billy's but that didn't mean he knew she was there. Bella only wished she could remember how she got there. She turned her head to look at Jake, sprawled out and still asleep. She closed her eyes and wiggled closer to him. It didn't really matter how she got there.

_Early spring._

It was early spring and Bella was in the car with Jacob. Despite the season, they had recently had a snowstorm so the ground was lined with dirty melt slush. The temperatures had increased severely after the storm and you couldn't walk outside without hearing the dripping of melting snow. It was dripping from roofs, from trees, from cars, from everything. It was still early spring so trees were still brown and bare and nature hadn't begun to rejuvenate itself yet but there was something in the air, something with the warmth and sun peeking from behind clouds that hinted at life. This felt like a new beginning to Bella. She wasn't sure where she was going but on a day like this it could really matter that much anyway.

_July 4, 2009 was one of the hottest days Forks had ever seen._

Even after sundown, the heat was sweltering on First Beach. It didn't help that Bella was surrounded by people who were loud, crazy, and running natural fevers. But it was Independence Day and Bella couldn't think of any place she'd rather be. There was warmth and love and just pure **joy** in the air. It was amazing how many diverse emotions could be used to describe the simplest of events. Just a family of people spending their summer holiday together. What was it about summer nights that created such unopposed happiness? Bella had no idea but she felt more truly relaxed than she would admit. Maybe simplicity was the answer. Could it really be that easy? Could happiness really be found in small moments of relaxed nature? Maybe it **was** that easy. Maybe it was enough to sit here surrounded by people she cared for and people who cared for her it turn. They could all just sit here together and be themselves and it was enough. Bella smiled, leaned back watching the fireworks and just **felt**.

_Bella remembered the first time she saw snow._

Bella remembered the first time she saw snow. She was young and visiting with Charlie when first confronted with white cold flakes. Bella knew what winter was and how in winter it got cold and you had to wear jackets but winter in Phoenix was incompatible to winter in Forks. Winter in Forks was similar to a daily blizzard. Bella had been reading in her room when she had glanced outside to find strange white things, similar to dandruff falling from the sky. She ran outside immediately to investigate the phenomenon. It was cold. Ridiculously cold but Bella couldn't seem to care. She stood in Charlie's yard, as it rapidly turned from brown grass to white snow, and stared at the sky bewildered. It wasn't until a few minutes later, when Charlie began yelling out the door why on Earth she was outside without a jacket in this weather, that the spell was broken and she left the snow and its wondrous qualities and went inside for a cup of hot cocoa. Bella never ceased to wonder at snow.

_Jacob had gotten them lost._

Jacob had gotten them lost and Bella couldn't find the need to worry. They were on a road trip for goodness sake, where was the excitement if they couldn't get a little lost and act a little crazy. Wasn't that the whole summary of life? Doing crazy things and never knowing where you would end up? Bella looked down at the map she had draped over her lap like a paper blanket. She picked it up, twisting and turning it until it looked upright. It wasn't long before she gave up and told Jake to just pull over at the next motel he passed so they could get some sleep. They could always find their way in the clarity 0f morning. Jake found one quickly and before she knew it Bella was sitting on a springy mattress of a nameless motel (that was surprisingly clean she thought to herself) sending a text message to Charlie that they were fine. Bella left out the part about how she had no idea where they were. While Jake was in their ridiculously tiny bathroom, Bella slipped into a pair of comfy sweats. Bella was already passed out in bed by the time Jacob slipped in beside. He smiled and squeezed her tight.

_Jacksonville, Florida was warm and beautiful._

Jacksonville, Florida was warm and beautiful and absolutely nothing like Forks. Bella couldn't decide if she loved it or hated it. It was so different from Forks, maybe too different, she wasn't sure. Jake, Bella, and Renee were all sprawled across lounge chairs near Renee and Phil's new pool. There was something about these people and this place that made Bella feel at home. This wasn't her home but it was one of them. Her family was here, and that made it home. She could hear Jacob and Renee talking as she dozed. It wasn't until later that day that she found out they had been talking about her. Neither one of them would tell her what was said so Bella could only hope they weren't plotting her demise. It didn't seem to amaze Bells when her mother instantly fawned over Jacob. There was just something so kind and charismatic about him that you couldn't help but like him. When the two first met Bella could see the wheels turning and the plans being made in her mother's head immediately. It was intimidating how Renee could go from acting like a mess one moment to a full on obsessive mother the next. Bella couldn't help but love her anyway. Her last coherent thought before she fell asleep on the sunny chair was that she hoped Charlie was getting fed proper dinners without her.

_Fast forward one month._

Fast forward one month and Bella's starting college. Not too far from home so that she can still live with Charlie. She thinks to herself that he's getting older and he needs someone to watch out for him. She knows he would never admit it, but he gets lonely in the house by himself. Bella is nervous for college, more nervous than she should be. Isn't this going to be so much easier than high school was? No more surprise vampires, no more mythical creatures or epic battles, just regular people with regular lives taking regular boring classes. Bella had never been more anxious. She was looking forward to it though, despite its striking differences from her last few years of education. She was looking forward to blending in and have and average, boring, calm four years. She just hoped she got it.


End file.
